Family, Marriage, Motherhood

October 2015

As you may have noticed, there was no “Goals for October 2015” post, because I didn’t think “just getting by” sounded all that ambitious! Morning sickness is no joke, and quite frankly, nausea is the bane of my existence. I am emetophobic (I have a serious fear of vomiting), which is a very real thing for which people get therapy, so don’t judge me.

Anyway, we have been getting by alright, but only because my wonderful husband has basically ran the entire house, not to mention the fact that he logged 96 hours at work last week. He’s my real life “knight in shining armor.” Since I’m a total control freak at my very core, it’s really hard for me to rest and let him take care of me. My mom and wife guilt have been through the roof, and don’t even get me started on my spiritual discipline, er, lack thereof.

It’s been a rough road, but we are ever grateful for the little person that will change all of our lives next May. He or she will make this all worth it. I guess I should have written Goal for October 2015: Continue growing tiny human. Did it, still doing it. Win. Here’s the most precious sound we’ve heard in a while to prove my victory:

I’ve attended two weddings this month without bringing gifts. Thank you, pregnancy, for making me fail all sorts of etiquette tests. The wedding presents are forthcoming, I promise.

Anyway, the ceremonies were wonderful and full of love. Weddings always remind me of how mature I thought I was when I got married. HAHAHA! I was a baby at best. A brat, most likely. Dustin and I have both grown up so much over the last few years, and we like to look back and laugh. We can do that now, because we are past the crazy (at least for now!), and we’re so thankful that we not only survived each other, but we’ve also managed to raise one amazing 4 year old boy, and are looking forward to being parents of TWO!

Anyway, the weddings got me thinking about how people always say you can’t change your spouse, and you shouldn’t try. I get the sentiment, but because Dustin and I have both changed so much, I have to disagree. You can change your spouse for the better, but it isn’t through nagging and prodding, manipulation and trial. Through grace and unconditional love, you can empower your spouse to become their best. You can minister to your spouse’s heart. Jesus’ grace through you CAN change your husband or wife, but only if you are loving and caring, with a pure heart. You aren’t trying to change who he is, but you are loving him to Jesus, as you try to change yourself for the better.

Let me repeat that another way…You think your spouse needs to change? Change yourself and show him unconditional grace. Mutual love and respect go a long way. The peace in my home is testament to what grace and mercy can do. No, Dustin doesn’t do everything I want him to do, and believe me, I’m not always a peach to live with, but our way of responding to one another has done a complete turn around since we were young. Our advice to young couples always has been and will continue to be, “Try to love each other like Jesus would. Even the attempt means so much.”

God bless all the newlyweds. May your marriages be full of grace, even in the midst of trial.

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