Being a parent whilst also being human is really discouraging sometimes. I feel like a big fat failure almost every single day. Like right now, when Josiah has been asking to put the same puzzle together for 2 days, and it’s still laying in the middle of the living room floor undone. I haven’t found 5 minutes to sit with him to put that stinking puzzle together. You know why? Because I’m tired and cranky, I have a million and one things to do, and I selfishly don’t want to sit on the floor and put a puzzle together.
Also, he refuses to potty train, and I’m about 99.99% sure I could have done things differently, and he would have met this milestone already. He is so incredibly smart, and I wish for his own sake that he would get excited about potty training…I also regret that the majority of my motivation and anxiety about potty training comes from caring too much about what other people think. All the “you should” and “he should” comments from people whose children apparently mastered potty training at a young age have really been getting me down. When I separate myself from that pressure and think about what is really going on, I realize that I’m putting my own insecurities onto my child, and that is NOT fair.
Where’s the truth here? Whose opinion matters?
God’s. God’s opinion matters. Does God care that Josiah isn’t potty trained? Heh. I don’t think so. You see, Jesus came and died on the cross for me, because He thinks I’m worthy of such great love in spite of my SIN…not in spite of my potty training failures. If He loves me in spite of nailing Him to the cross with my sin, I’m pretty sure He still thinks I’m great even if I have failed to potty train my son before he turned 3.
Isn’t it pathetic that I have to remind myself of that? It is absurd that I allow fallible fellow humans make me feel so badly about something so insignificant.
And this is one of the many reasons I need to read the Bible more.
I need a constant reminder of who God is, what He has done for me, and what I mean to Him.
The minister at Oak Forest Church of Christ, Jim Webster, has been speaking truth into my life so much lately. Colossians 1:9-14 has come up several times in recent Bible studies and sermons, and it is a new favorite passage for me.
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (My emphasis added).
What is God’s will for me? How can I please Him in every way? According to this passage, I believe He wants me to…
- Live my faith out with good works
- Get to know Him more and more
- Gain strength from Him for patience and perseverance
- Give Him thanks
I do ALL of those things. I please God with my life?! SAY WHAT?! Sure, I could and do strive to do all of those things more, and no I don’t have my son potty trained, yet. I’m so NOT perfect…but that’s the point. I don’t have to have it all together. I have to allow Christ to have all of me, because HE is PERFECT on my behalf. Praise Him!
So, with that reminder in mind, my goals for September are…
- Give myself a little grace, because God gives me a whole lot of it
- Get to know God better by getting in His Word more often
- Thank Him daily
- Love on Josiah and CHILL OUT, because I guarantee he won’t go to college in diapers.
What are your goals? Is grace on your list?…because it should be.
I hope the hot-mess-express that I am can give you a little encouragement today. His grace is enough for me and for you!