Month: December 2015

When You’re Being Poured Out

Yesterday, I found myself feeling really depressed and hopeless. Nothing had changed, I just woke up that way. Does that ever happen to you?

For me, it often happens when I give a lot of myself, but forget to do the things that fill me up. Pouring out, but not filling back up, leaves me empty. It’s a simple metaphor, but so poignant.

It didn’t take long for me to see that I wasn’t filling up, because I wasn’t creating a margin for that in my days. I wasn’t living intentionally, just getting by. I needed a plan, so I made a simple schedule for today. The time that Josiah usually plays in his room after breakfast – that was my time to fill up.

An hour to read the Bible, pray, and create…and now I’m feeling inspired, excited, and ready for the rest of my day.

What are the things that fill you up? If you don’t know, I’d encourage you to spend time figuring it out, and then use your margins to do those things. When you’re being poured out, you need to fill back up.

Blessings to you this weekend! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

Goals for December 2015

Recap of November Goals

  • Learn more about and foster a continuous brew kombucha. < I really can’t say enough about Kombucha. It is wonderful. When the brew was ready and I began drinking about 4 oz daily, it dramatically improved some pregnancy related digestive issues I was having. It also reduced my morning sickness and heartburn. I’ve been feeling more energetic and I didn’t catch Josiah’s cold during the week of Thanksgiving. This is all anecdotal, but it’s proof enough for me. I feel better. WIN.
  • Make homemade toothpaste. < I incorporated this into a school day, so it was both healthful and educational. 
  • Get back to my spiritual disciplines. < As always, it’s a daily learning process, but I feel like I’m getting back where I need to be. 
  • Be WAY more consistent with homeschooling Josiah.
  • Organize Josiah’s homeschool area.
  • Follow Clean Mama’s simple guide to keeping my house squeaky clean. < “Squeaky clean” would be generous, but the bathroom has been cleaner, so I’m pleased.
  • And lastly, try to enjoy this pregnancy and all that comes with it. < It’s been a much better month, and we are so excited to get to see our precious baby via ultrasound in a few weeks!!!

Goals for December 2015

  • Do some Christmas crafts with Josiah.
  • Increase exercise, specifically prenatal yoga.
  • Continue to make weekly time for making art.
  • Grow in spiritual discipline.
  • Read more and listen to more music. Watching television has become a habit in the last three months (survival mode, anyone?). I’m not anti-television, but I don’t want it taking up so much of my precious time.
  • Celebrate my 30th birthday with the people I love.
  • Start making out my #40BeforeForty List. I didn’t complete my #30BeforeThirty, but it did motivate to do a lot of things I cared about. It’s a great practice. You should try it!

I hope you have a wonderful December! Merry Christmas!


Time and Pancakes

It’s December already. Christmas will be here so soon, and there’s something about having children that makes one completely aware of how fast time passes. It’s tempting to spend these few days we have before Christmas thinking about “stuff and things”. I really like giving gifts. It’s not about the stuff, but about showing people I love them. Years like this one, when we’re on a tighter budget, are hard for me, because I want to buy something for everyone.

However, as I stood making silver dollar pancakes for Josiah today, it occurred to me that what’s actually made me feel loved over the years is the time my people have given me. You see, silver dollar pancakes will ALWAYS make me think about my Papaw Martini. Although my grandpa has always been generous with his resources and has bought us gifts every year at Christmas, one of my fondest memories are the mornings he’d get up early with us kids and make about a million tiny pancakes. He didn’t say much, but he’d stand over the stove and grin as we giggled about how we could tell our parents we ate ten pancakes for breakfast. It was pure joy.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate every physical gift he’s given us, but even without material things, I’d never doubt his love. He spent time with me, and he’s one of the first to show up when I need help. He’s kind and loving and truly wants the best for his kids and grandkids, and that can never be replaced with material possessions.

Unfortunately, I’ve never been all that good at giving my time to others, but it’s something I’ve really been focusing on in the last few years. I used to be so driven to be “the best I could be” because I thought that accomplishments were the way I should use my God-given talents and that accolades meant I would be loved. And because I’m not good at balancing that drive with time spent on loved ones (holy introversion!), I’ve often found myself feeling empty and alone. With all that striving and work, I was still not the person I knew I should be.

Now, however, as I spend more time focusing on people instead of worldly success, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. At the end of the day, the time I spend building relationships will never leave me empty and regretful.

So although I won’t be able to give many gifts this year, I hope that more people are sure of my love for them. Everyone knows that time is precious, more than money. So if you give more time and make some precious memories, you needn’t spend your days worrying about how much money you spend on Christmas. Remember that this time of year is a memorial to a poor carpenter who gave His life for the people He loves. Give of yourself. That is love.