I’ve been working on my November goals regarding homeschooling this week, and I’m happy to report some progress. The hand-me-down wooden shelf that we’ve shuffled around for years has found it’s purpose in holding all the homeschool curriculum and goodies.
Although this week has been productive, from the point in August when we “started” 4 year old preschool until early November, I, for all intents and purposes, wallowed in fear and self-loathing.
Can I be really honest? Homeschooling scares me…like fight or flight kind of fear.
I have a very intelligent little boy. He was speaking full sentences before 18 months, and he can recall minute details from years ago. It’s amazing and frightening to watch him absorb information at rapid speeds. I DON’T WANT TO MESS THIS KID UP. He has SO much potential, and I want to give him a foundation to fulfill all the dreams God has for him.
A few weeks ago, I was lamenting to Dustin how scared I am of homeschooling. He stopped me in my tracks when he said, “That’s so not like you. When you face a challenge, you figure it out and conquer it.” WOAH.
He’s right, though. I’m a lover of challenges, an information sponge, a lifelong nerd (er, learner), and I face life head-on…when I’m being me.
You see, fear has this way of making us forget who we are. It undermines us and our true nature. When the enemy whispers lies that make us question our abilities, we can find ourselves running away from the things that are important.
I was feeling like a homeschool failure, and because I was giving way to fear, I was BEING a homeschool failure. As my mom says, “The only way to fail at homeschooling is NOT to do it.”
Between my husband and my mom, I got the encouragement I needed to take the leap. Dustin constantly cheers me on, and I’m always overhearing him “unschooling” Josiah by using all sorts of teachable moments in daily life. He’s the best homeschool principal I know. Mom gave me way more resources than any new homeschool momma would need, so there’s no excuse.
My new habit is to prepare what we are doing the next day right after Josiah goes to bed. Then when I feel tired or am battling morning sickness the following morning, everything is ready to go. Josiah and I are having a blast. He enjoys this time of day when he has my undivided attention, and I am reveling in watching him learn. I mean, I know I’m a first timer, but am I the only one who tears up every time her kid writes his name? Every day, he gets better at it, and today, he spelled it without help and even wrote the “S” all by himself. If that isn’t progress, I don’t know what is.
So I want to encourage you today NOT to give in to fear. Don’t listen to those lies from the enemy. Take life head on, and remember who you are. Fear has no place in a life well-lived.
If you don’t have the confidence to live by faith, not by fear, because you don’t know Jesus, please reach out. He’s waiting for you, and I’d be so happy to walk with you as you embrace the Savior. God Bless!