A Sense of Meaning: Update on My New Normal

Hey friends, thanks for stopping in. My heart is full tonight, so I thought I’d write. There’ve been a lot of things I would have written about the last few months, but the days have been long and full of memories and struggle and meaning. I’d be lying if I said I savored every moment. Truth be told, I’ve had more grueling moments over the last 6 months than I ever did as a mother of one. I’ve felt like a failure as a wife, momma, and home manager (I’m calling it that, okay? I manage a lot, and putting it that way makes it seem more important. It’s not just laundry and dishes. It’s making life peaceful and enjoyable for my family!). I’ve had more guilty feelings than I can count. Mostly guilt over not feeling rosey about motherhood every minute. Being a momma was and is my greatest desire, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

So anyway, I was feeling guilty and worthless, so I pleaded with God to help me find the joy I used to feel over mothering babies. It didn’t happen over night. It took soul searching, slowing down, letting go of expectations, and lots of prayer. Tonight I’m truly, madly, deeply feeling the joy of motherhood. I’m trapped in bed by two babies who didn’t want to go to sleep. They finally gave it up, and it’s going to take some Olympic gymnast like moves for me to get untangled and out of this bed! One might be teething, and the other is battling seasonal allergies, and I’m wrapped up in their needs, their precious faces, and the overwhelming sense that I’m right wear I belong.

I hope you’ll commit your struggles to prayer, because the LORD certainly cares and answers in His very perfect, mysterious ways. Whatever you’re walking through, know that nothing good or bad lasts forever. The moments are fleeting. Root your heart and thoughts in God’s love for you, and trust that His plans are truly for your good.

Your Childhood Joy

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you were downtrodden, depressed, anxious, or lonely? Maybe you’re experiencing that time right now? Unfortunately, I’ve spent a great deal of my adult life like that, despite having a relationship with Christ.

The Bible says Jesus came so we could have life to the full (John 10:10), and yet so many of us live without joy. We can blame this on others, on circumstances, on things out of our control…but I don’t believe that’s the real issue. Continue reading

July 2016 Update

I had good intentions to write this post early in the month, but it’s summer in the Midwest, and we are living life to the fullest while the weather is warm. Maybe it’s better, because I have more to say than I did 26 days ago. When you’re raising tiny people, a lot can happen in the span of a month.

Josiah has been equally adorable and hilarious this month, as he continues to grow into the role of big brother. He insists that he loves his sister more than anyone else, and that she feels the same about him. I know that their bond is sacred, and I’m content to take a backseat. They both still know who to come to when they’re hungry <snicker>.

IMG_4590 Continue reading

A White Girl from a Small Town

Laying awake at 4 am trying to grasp for straws. Social media is a whirlwind of people falling on either side of a debate that shouldn’t be. There’s been violence once again in our country. White cops, black civilians and vice versa. Just a short time ago, it was an Islamic man and homosexuals. In a country that’s supposed to be about equality, there sure is a lot of hatred and brutality based on differences.

I just can’t understand it, if I’m being honest. Other than offering prayers, I don’t usually fall on either side of these debates. I don’t feel like I can speak with any kind of authority in these situations, so I just keep quiet. I’m a white girl from a small town. What do I really know about race relations? Continue reading

May/June 2016 Update

At six weeks after giving birth to my second child, I now understand why bloggers announce their temporary hiatus from blogging at big life changes. The last month and a half has been a whirlwind of emotions, activity, and learning.

On May 4th, after only a few hours of labor, Hosanna Lynn Marie was born via C-section. Continue reading

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